Review: Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots

Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots by Deborah Feldman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book was an eye-opener. Feldman grew up as a member of the Satmar sect of Hassidic Judaism, which could hardly be called even a branch of the same religion I practice as a modern Reconstructionist Jew. The Satmars live a very insular life, with no outside influences (like secular books or music), and strict gender roles that are governed by male (of course) rabbis. She decides to leave the sect, and her husband, but the majority of the book is about her life in the sect before she leaves, and how she makes the decision to do so.

I thought I knew a lot about Judaism, but the traditions, rules, and customs in this sect blew me away. The example that most sticks with me is that Feldman recounts the rule that when a woman is menstruating she is considered "unclean" and can't touch her husband - even casually, like in the process of passing him a plate at dinner. In fact, she can't pass him a plate at dinner. She must put the plate down, then he picks it up. When her period is over, if she has discharge, her husband brings a pair of underwear to the rabbi, who determines if the discharge stains indicate it is indeed actually over. Really.

There has been some criticism of her depiction of the community, but even if a fraction of what she writes is true, and I believe it to be much more than that, she is a brave and unusual soul indeed.


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